Broken
by Jente Bidernais
Summary: Sirius has broken down. And Regulus helps. Is in schooldays of the Blacks. ONESHOT. No slash! Of course not


**Title: broken.**

"Oy Black!" Sirius turns around slowly. Regulus observes him silently. Strange. No anger, no… nothing. He doesn't look up. "It's you." He murmurs. No 'oy Black!', 'you moron' or 'son of a bitch'. Sirius is so quite. So lonely. So …. So broken.

He shouldn't care. Regulus knows he should not care. This is the boy who chose an unknown house over him and his family. This is a mudblood-loving bloodtraitor. But goddamn. This is also his brother. He looks around. No one in sight.

He steps forwards. Normally, by now they would have drawn wands already, but on this moment…. "Siri. What's wrong?" Sirius head jerks up, as he should have done when he heard Regulus 'oy Black'. "Don't. Don't call me that."

Regulus is a little taken aback. He should have known! "Why not?" He asks, though he does already know. 'Siri' was his pet name for his brother in better times. Using it now was disgracing it. Or at least it feels that way.

"I do not deserve it. No more. I don't even deserve to live." His head hangs. Regulus eyes grow wide. He never has seen his brother so… down. So… broken. "Jesus Christ! Siri…." He puts his hand on Sirius shoulders. "Sit down." Sirius obeys.

"Now, tell me. What is the problem?" Sirius watches his hands. "I almost killed him, Reg. I almost killed them both." Regulus hesitates. "Wha… what?" Sirius starts shaking. Regulus is shocked when he finds that Sirius cries.

"No. No, I can't believe that. I'm supposed to be the murderer here. And cousin Bella. All Blacks are. All Blacks but you. You're supposed to be the white sheep of the family." Sirius starts to shake ever more.

"Dumbledore said the same. He said that he was _disappointed_ in me. James doesn't talk to me, even Peter doesn't! And Remus…. He keeps giving me these betrayed looks, Reg. I almost _killed_ him! And the guilt is _killing_ me. Damn, it _should _kill me. Or even_Secretus_ should. _Anyone. Anything_!"

It takes Regulus a lot of time and a lot of patience to unveil Sirius story. Apparently, Sirius almost sent Severus Snape to his dead, by telling him that he should enter the whopping willow, where Remus Lupin, who was a werewolf, was hiding. And Lupin had almost killed Snape, for which Lupin would have been killed by the Ministry.

It _did_ sound as if Sirius had almost killed his best friend. But it was not intended that way, Regulus was sure. It was just sheer stupidity, as all the things that Sirius had done.

"Okay. We're going to solve this. Now." Regulus takes Sirius up and bears him to the Gryffindor Tower, which costs him quite a bit of strength.

"It's just bloody unbelievable. _You_'re the eldest here. _You_ should solve _my _problems. _You _should tell _me_ to think before bloody doing something. But it's always the other way round." Normally Sirius would have laughed, but today, today everything is different. Today Sirius has broken down.

Regulus has to force the password out of some small Gryffindor, who only tells him because Sirius is with him. _Bloody brave __Gryffindors_. He threatened to kill the kid and it didn't do so much as wince.

Same story with the Fat Lady. Damned woman wouldn't let him in until Sirius nodded to her. And what do you think the Gryffindors do, when he finally gets through that bloody portrait? They corner them and refuse to leave until Regulus has promised not to hurt their Gryffindor prince. As if…

It takes him two times to get the right stairs. The first time he takes the girls stairs. He notices his fault quickly, as his brother and he himself fall down when the stairs change into a slide. Of course Sirius couldn't say something, he is into a bit of grieve.

The second attempt at taking the stairs, this time the right ones, goes better and they get into Sirius dorm. There are three boys in there.

They look at them suspiciously. "What are you doing in here?" James Potter is none too kind. He ignores Sirius completely, as his brother has already told him and looks like he would like to punch Regulus right in his face.

Regulus puts Sirius on the only empty bed, thinking that would be Sirius'. "I'm here to talk to you three." Potter-boy does not react, Pettigrew hides behind his curtains and Lupin puts on his angry face, while walking at the door.

Lupin never reaches his goal, 'cause Regulus stops him right in time. "He broke down on me. Thinks for reasons unknown by me, that he should be killed. Thinks he deserves it, or something. Seems to think you guys think the same. Well, I don't bloody care. So go ahead." He handles Lupin his wand.

"You know. You guys seem to think that _you _do have a tough life. Well, _I_ doubt it. _You _go kill him on _my _wand and _I_'ll be happy to do Azkaban for it. You see, when life is a prison, you tend to agree with going to a real prison easily. Now, go ahead. I'll enjoy the show." Regulus hangs back.

Lupin looks up to him. "Are you barking mad? You think we could be murderers? No, only _he_ was that bad." He points at Sirius. "And this is not a bloody joke!" Regulus looks him in the eye. "No murderer? Give it to me, I'll do it myself." Lupin hesitates.

"No. We hate him. That doesn't mean we want him dead." Regulus looks at Sirius. He is pale, bags under his eyes and his hair seems to hang in his face. "No? That's strange, cause you've already killed him. Don't you see, he's _dying_.

He even talked to _me_. The only person, next to you three, who has once cared for him. This, really bad. We _hate_ each other. Most of the time. I hate him for one mistake he once made. Because we never talked it over. Because I never forgave him. And I regret it, every fight we have.

Don't make the same mistake as me. Talk it over. For he made a stupid mistake. That's what Blacks tend to do. You're the only ones he has left. If he loses you, all he has is that Bitch and me. Our father doesn't care, doesn't exist. Our mother only hates. And I, well, we grew apart." He turns and leaves.

The next day, his brother enters the Great Hall, together with his friends. And Regulus smiles.


End file.
